Regrets, Past and Future

I once heard someone say that you shouldn’t live with regrets. I took it to mean that you should do the things you knew would result in zero regrets later in life. As I’ve aged, grown wiser, etc. the meaning of that phrase for me has shifted greatly.

Try as you may, you won’t be able to avoid doing things you think are best in the moment, only later to regret having not done something else. My own attempts to avoid having any regrets have been fruitless.

At first, I beat myself up for even feeling regretful about things. After all, if I had regrets, it was my fault – I’d done something horribly wrong. I was defective in some fundamental way.

Then, my thoughts turned to how my way of making decisions must have been flawed. But I quickly realized that everyone’s decision making skills are imperfect. After all, nobody can see or predict the future with any semblance of perfection.

Finally, I’ve settled on a new way of thinking about regrets. The saying was to live without them. That doesn’t mean you won’t have them. Instead, what it does mean, at least to me now, is that you don’t carry them around with you. You don’t keep those regrets close to your soul. I know and have known people who treat their regrets like safety blankets. They’re miserable. They view the world through a lens of negativity. And by living that way, they attract even more negativity. It’s a vicious, awful cycle.

Only by letting go can we become what we truly should be – that’s what I’ve learned. I’m by no means perfect in this philosophy, but I’m working to be the best I can be at it.

I’ve fallen off the horse with blogging. At first, it was purposeful; I needed a break from writing in my blog regularly. Then, it was a chain of events in life that squeezed me for time like never before. As time wore on, the intent of my original blog seemed like a distant friend, one I’d grown far apart from. That’s when I realized the drift really took place long before I took my break. The passion I felt for my blog had waned, and I failed to recognize that fact.

Rather than try to get back to what I was doing before, it’s time to do something new. I still write these days. In fact, I write more now than ever. I’m not sure what that means for the new direction of my blog – perhaps I’ll post less often than before. Also, I’m still exploring what will be the focus of my blog. Perhaps it could be about the craft, but that’s a wildly popular topic, and I usually like to blaze new trails. Maybe I’ll just write about the craziness of being a full-time writer, what inspires me, how I make it day by day. That might be too self-indulgent and boring for anyone else to read.

I’m not sure I have many of my old readers still even checking here – I can’t blame them for that. If I do, and anyone has any feedback, feel free to leave a comment. You can email me or send a message through my Facebook page, if you prefer. At the moment, my ideas about how this blog will go are still quite fluid.


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